Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
