Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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