I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
