Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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