Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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