Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
