GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
