i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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