What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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