I feel great
I just peed on a car
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
