new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
