Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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