i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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