i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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