if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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