For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
