Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize