like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
