she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
