its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
