i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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