Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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