remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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