Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
