You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
