Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Someone came in the potted fern
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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