Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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