good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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