Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
