I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
