Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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