he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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