I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
