Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
