if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
