Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
