To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
