I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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