Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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