Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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