woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
