Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
