Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
