bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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