Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
