are you still at the devil's house?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if only i could text you this smell
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
