My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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