We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
