We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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