I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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