I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
