Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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