we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you would pick up someone in the library
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
