im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
