my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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