Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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