community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
