your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
