Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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