Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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