Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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