i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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