I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize