How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
