Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
