the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
