it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
