He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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