i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
