so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
