the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize